would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
