Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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