Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
