I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
