Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
