oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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