Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize