I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
