She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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