we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize