I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
