There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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