Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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