I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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