you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
