Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
