How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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