okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
