Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
