I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
and she was petting her beer can
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
