The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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