I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
