my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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