You really coming over, don't trick.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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