Welp...herpes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
