3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
