He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
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I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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