I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
