I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
