please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
