Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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