dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
