they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize