I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
