and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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