The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
