Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
