in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Last time i carry you out of a forest
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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