We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
