do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
