low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize