There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
