Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
