I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
FUCK WHALES
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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