i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
