There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
