guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
