Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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