she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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