my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
