I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
