I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
