Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
