guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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