Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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