this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
