lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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