he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's shark week go big or go home
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
