Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize