oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
