You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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