At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
