I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
