you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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