fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
