Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
