He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
