he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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