Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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